Why Comparison is a Lost Battle and How to Overcome It

Posted on November 08, 2018 by Joelene Lemke, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Have you ever looked at someone and wished you had what they had? Has comparing yourself to others distracted you from achieving your dreams or goals? Has it made you feel like your life is not so great?
It happens to the best of us. But does it have to be that way?
It doesn’t.
You see, we’re all on our own journey. Where we are today is not where we will be in the future. That’s why comparing your life or circumstances to others is a lost cause. A battle you lost even before it began.
Why is Comparison Wrong?
The famous author Mark Twain once said that: “comparison is the death of joy.” And he was dead right on the money. Recent psychological studies have shown that comparison can create self-defeating feelings of extremely low self-esteem, anxiety, envy, mistrust, and sometimes clinical depression.
In the past, before I embraced an attitude of gratitude, I found it hard to trust people that seemed “better” to me. That pretty lady that looked amazing in a swimsuit. That classmate that always scored straight As. It was killing me inside.
Comparison makes you become someone who takes pleasure in others’ misfortunes and failures so that you can feel good about yourself. It’s wrong on so many levels. But the biggest downside is that it destroys your sense of self.
Instead of forging healthy relationships and connections with people, you’re overtaken by jealousy, self-hate, and envy. In other words, comparison makes you devalue yourself to the extent that you don’t care about your goals, abilities, and blessings.
To add insult to injury, what you are comparing yourself to others might actually be wildly inaccurate. Just because your neighbor has a big house and fancy cars doesn’t mean that they are happy. Just because your friend has a better job doesn’t mean that they don’t struggle with debt and other financial woes.
How to Overcome Comparison
Again, comparison is a battle you’ll lose no matter how you go about it. Remember you can never be better than someone in every way. So, stay in your “lane.” Don’t let your ice cream melt in your hands because you’re looking at what is in someone else’s hand.
Instead, of thinking: oh that lady has a much better body than mine. Or, that guy has his life collected. Just focus on you. Your dreams. Your goals. Your journey. Do your own thing.
More importantly, set goals for yourself. Then create a step by step plan to accomplish those goals.
Be Content with Yourself and Celebrate Small Victories
Comparison makes you blind to the valuable things that are in your life. So steer away self-defeatist thoughts and negative perception of yourself.
Instead, take pride in yourself, what you have accomplished, and where you are going. Don’t dwell on the negatives, but your positives. From there, you can build on to focus on what makes you great.
Motivate Yourself
Sometimes you’re your own Island. Don’t wait for someone else to encourage you. Learn ways you can motivate yourself to achieve your goals and boost your self-confidence. Even still, surround yourself with positivity. People who think, talk, and act with a positive mindset.