The Hottest Gift This Holiday Season!
Posted on December 07, 2018 by Kieran Diorio, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Your Presence is the most prized gift you can give!
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha
The Hottest Gift This Holiday Season!!!
It’s December 6th. I need 1 more new customer to make my goal for the quarter and the year. The stakes are high and I am laser-focused on closing this last case….. I’m so focused, that I surprise myself at how I auto-pilot my way past all the folks I know and even— my Dad, on my way to seating for a Holiday pageant at my daughter’s school.
Don’t get me wrong, I engage just about everyone, but I do so with this sickening, sinking, feeling that I am missing an opportunity- my mind rests only on the email that I am CERTAIN will be coming in on my phone with “what I need to do” to get this customer on-board at the 11th hour. I couldn’t pay more attention to this device if it were ablaze in my pocket.
I can’t just stare at it during the show- that would be rude- so I surreptitiously check it throughout the show, trying not to let the screen’s glare flash around too much. I notice two things as I do my covert phone checks- the fact that I feel a million miles away from this actual event, and the hate-dagger-glance I’m getting from my then-wife as she sees me looking at my iPhone.
You can probably guess the outcome. No email, and no enjoyment of this event.
When the morning rolled around, I actually got the business! It felt fulfilling, rewarding, and incredibly gratifying to get the win and cap off my incentive comp plan. For the next 30 minutes I was riding a delightful, familiar high. For the next several days though, the whole thing felt incredibly hollow. I could write volumes about the “why” here, but simply stated, and in retrospect, it wasn’t worth it.
This was a mistake I made over and over again.
Dale Carnegie teaches a principle called “Living in Day-Tight Compartments” , a life metaphor to a ship built with water-tight compartments that, in the event of a hull breach, can be sealed to prevent the ship’s sinking. The concept seats on mentally compartmentalizing our days to insulate us from what happens from one day to the next, and keep us from “sinking” under the drag- at least that is my interpretation of his teachings.
I’ve personally boiled down Dale’s teachings here to the powerful concept of boundaries- our first and best friend in maintaining our Presence. Boundaries can be set by rules (I don’t check email after 8pm), behaviors (I’m leaving my phone in the car), intentions (I’m going to exclusively focus on the people right in front of me now) and by many other means.
However you choose to BIND your PRESENCE during this busy time of year is up to you. I’m here to tell you that the GIFT of your presence is one that everyone around you (including you) will remember and cherish. Be GENEROUS with your PRESENCE this holiday season!!!!!
Wishing all dads, in ALL forms, all the best!
K
