Emotions Don't Belong at Work
Posted on May 10, 2019 by Aleasa Word, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Old school leadership says leave our feelings at the door. Reality tells us they go with us everywhere we are. Aleasa Word has a message about this.
As life moves on, humans simply evolve. Some of us evolve at rates faster than others. Some of us believe the evolution of this of us in the United States is more in finding ways to co-exist with the same belief systems we’ve always had because we are comfortable with them and “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Reflecting back on myself as a young employee, I remember being cautioned by my parents to leave my feelings and personal life at home. There was no talk of this concept of emotional intelligence nor coaching. Work was work and everything else didn’t belong there. Fast forward, based on experience and today’s knowledge of behavioral science, most realize that it is impossible to leave your emotions at home. With that in mind, there are ways to channel them properly so that they don’t undermine daily goals to be successful, productive and increase wealth for ourselves. The concern is that some either don’t realize their emotions are causing them issues, they don’t care, or they feel that it’s someone else’s fault they act how they do. There is also the group of people who think they have a 100% grasp on how their emotions impact them and they are in total control.
The interesting thing about emotions is that there are some that are in bigger play than others in the workplace. According to Cynthia Fisher a professor from Ohio State, we would benefit by considering the 5 most common emotions people have to deal with in the workplace. They are worry/insecurity, frustration, anger, feeling down and dislike. And though there is a story with each one, in this space I’ll focus on anger and frustration.
Each day we have a life outside of the workplace that where it is easy for anger and frustration to permeate our thought patterns. We can become frustrated with our loved ones, the traffic, our financial situations, our schedules, and even our health. Sometimes that frustration causes us to become angry when we can’t readily fix a situation or attached to proper emotions to WHY we are angry and WHAT we need to change how we feel. Imagine feeling that way on the way to work and as soon as you open the door to the office you have to put on a non-frustrated, non-angry mindset We can certainly put those feelings in the proper place, assigning them to what triggered us; however, the feelings that come with those triggers are often unresolved. There will be things that happen throughout our day that many times though unobvious to us, trigger the feeling of those emotions and the negative mental response then impacts how we behave. We can subconsciously create a trail of victims from our suppression of these feelings because we may not want to realize they exist and they change our styles of behaviors even if in a subtle way.
So how do we deal with the issues mentioned if they are in our subconscious you ask? When things happen, look at your coping strategies. By denying the existence of hurt, frustration, rejection, feelings of injustice, etc. it can create a powder-keg type of effect in us. Sometimes the power-keg explodes and other times it does a simmer that is long, drawn out and just as damaging. Lean into the uncomfortable way you feel, ask yourself why you feel that way and what needs to happen so you don’t feel that way anymore. This is the beginning of a new way of bringing your emotions to work in a more positive manner.
For more information, contact visit awordandcompany.com. Aleasa Word is the principal and founder of A Word & Company. This is an informational only article and not meant to substitute for medical, behavioral health or legal advice.