Considering Ending a Relationship?

Posted on April 25, 2011 by Leia Gamache, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Much has been written about the different phases of love and the tragic unravelling of an otherwise great romance.

All relationships take on a life of their own and are subject to the same cycles of death and new beginnings as every other living thing, yet one of our greatest fears can be the unknown spaces inside these cycles of change.

The truth is – a surprisingly low percentage of the population ends up growing old together inside the undying love that first sparked their journey. I say this because the ideal is a rare and courageous feat in which both partners are willing and able to co-create something new as their relationship evolves.

We get into relationships for many reasons and tend to choose people that reflect who we are through one phase of our lives. Once the phase has passed, we may come to outgrow our partner as we change and grow in a different direction.

At the natural end of our relationship and in moments of clarity, we will feel the truth of that ending in our belly.

We may feel that the reason we came together has been fulfilled and the difficulty is now the awareness that our partner may not agree or feel the same sense of fullfulment or completion.
They may, in fact, continue to feel a sense of “unfinished business” until they are able to make peace with our choices.

Most endings come with a period of grieving and separation, and with it, inevitably come feelings of anger, blame and periods of negotiation. We cannot spare ourselves or our partner this process.

A healthy completion at the end of a relationship is one in which at least one partner understands the space and process needed to move toward a new beginning.

It is important to remember that there is a gift inside of even the most challenging relationships. Our awareness of that gift is what we will want to take away with us in the end.