“Self”-love does not rely on "otherness"
Posted on November 16, 2019 by Dr Jackie Lau, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
“When I stopped believing in opposites, I see myself in all.”
“Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.” Eckhart Tolle
So much of so called self-love is around a sense of separation with others nowadays. The Source and our inner being never see otherness in others. A true sense of peace and wellbeing does not require us to guard ourselves from others who we perceive, from their temporary expression, as “weakness” or “toxicity”, which we also sometimes unconsciously show. Judgement and separation is fear-based, it leads to “punishment” in some forms where “help” is instead needed. If we can see the alignment rather than the misalignment between ourselves in others, we see a harmonic world.
People cross paths in the “self-love” ideation often have had our fair bit of sufferings due to external circumstances. Let’s take things simply, humbly and lovingly. To let go of suffering is to let go of the need to be identified with the consequences we associate with certain events that life entails, to let go of our need for victimhood, to be open to recognize an expiry date to what we no longer need to re-activate in our vibrations.
“When I stopped believing in opposites, I see myself in all.” Most of us are socialized to compulsively conceptualize others’ behaviors, as soon as they come into our awareness, as this and that. Our sensitivity to life is compromised when we are constantly feeding our egoic mind’s need to categorize something or someone’s action as good or bad; we miss the essence of our vision outside our predetermined knee-jerk reactions to situations and events – we miss the beauty of beingnesses as they are, independent of their relationship to solely ourselves.
It is easy to see the wrongdoings of others especially when we feel pain. I am simply inviting you all to suspend your disbelief for a moment, and be open to the idea that, given the same past conditioning, life experiences, values, level of consciousness, we would all have done exactly the same as another.
Remember, what we see in others often reflect nothing but our relationship with ourselves. Connection with others starts with connectedness with us.