How to move on

Posted on January 23, 2020 by Leila Atbi, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

How to move on

I am not an angel nor a saint, nor am I a devil with red wings and a tail.
Neither are you.
You and I are “just” human beings.

We have sinned and failed, sometimes miserably. We have made mistakes, errors and blunders and probably still will.
This is life in its full package.

We hide the guilt that oozed from those slips, stumbles and likes in a bag that we carry religiously wherever we go, our head hidden between our shoulders, beating ourselves up and sentencing our lives to non-ending misery. “I deserve to feel the guilt, it was my doing, my fault”, you might tell yourself.

That was my inner conversation too, when I didn’t know any better, but it’s different now.

It wasn’t the “me” that I am now who did those things.

Allow me to explain.

Do you know that, at the cellular level, the “You” that you are now, isn’t the “You” that you were back then?

Here are the scientific facts.

The renewal of your blood cells, your organ tissues, including the cells that take the longest to get replaced – your bones cells- is counted in days, weeks and months only, and although it takes 7 to 10 years for your whole skeleton to be renewed entirely, your bone cells are replaced on an ongoing process.

Now you know.

Cell by cell, the You of the past that acted in a way you felt guilty about, isn’t the person you are now.

Now you have the proof.

It wasn’t You, now, who did it. Physiologically.

Spiritually and mentally, at that time, you knew less about life than you do now.

Do you agree that if you knew better, you would have done better, decided better, chosen better?

Now, when you think about it, is it fair to look down at your younger self and play the judge, or the executioner even?
Guilt is an emotion that lowers the body’s bioenergy and prevents the immune system from functioning at its best. It leaves your body unprotected against germs and illnesses. How will you be able to do better in life if your health is compromised?

Moreover, feeling the guilt won’t change anything to what happened.

Here is what can help you do better in the future

If you can fix things, do it now.

If you can’t, accept that you can’t and apologise if appropriate.

Allow yourself to learn from your past experiences.

Forgive yourself genuinely with the firm belief that you will do better in the future and move on with your life.

You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and change how you feel about it.