Posted on February 17, 2011 by Deah Curry PhD, CPC

I bet you thought that title meant asking other people to help you get what you need. And sure, it’s helpful to be able to do that.

But what I want to offer today is asking yourself for what you need –asking more of yourself, holding yourself more accountable, or to a higher standard than you have been.

And maybe, in some cases, asking less, or asking for different things than you have been demanding.

For example:  less work, more play or sleep; less uber-responsibility, more boundary keeping; less excuses-making, more critical analysis and problem solving; etc.

So have you taken an inventory recently of what you are asking of yourself?

No?  I’d like to recommend that you take an undistracted, unpressured,15 minutes today to take a head to toe, inside outside look at what you are giving yourself and if it’s really what you need for the happiest, most confident and successful life.

Here are some prompter questions to use in your self-awareness process:

1.  Do you insist on thinking positive, non-judgmental thoughts that move you forward towards your goals?

2.  Are your beliefs, assumptions and perceptions binding you to negativity and sabotage, or freeing you for joy, new possibilities, and necessary risk-taking?

3.  Do you give yourself opportunities for openheartedness and loving-kindness every day?

4.  Are you fueling your body with immune and energy boosting nutrients, and getting enough sleep and exercise?

5.  Do you recognize emotions as transitory flavors of experience and put them in proper perspective?

6.  Can you let go of hurts, angers, fears, and re-frame your viewpoint of what’s possible in any situation?

7.  Will you give yourself time to think twice before reacting, and respond quickly rather than procrastinating?

8.  Do you have a gratitude practice, or a way to be grounded and authentic to your true self and inner playful child?

9.  Is your personal support system toxic — overcritical, doubting and discounting you — or are they really on your side, providing encouragement, motivation?

10.  Is it time to commit to changing what you ask of yourself? What will you ask for today?