Posted on April 21, 2011 by Rob Pineau

Before I became a coach I hadn’t really heard people talk about getting ‘stuck’. Now, in coaching circles, I hear coaches talk about people being stuck in self limiting beliefs. When I hear people talk about this I think of the old expression, “you can’t see the forest for the trees”. So what’s this getting stuck business really all about?

Well, what you believe to be true has a lot to do with how you interpret information and experiences. From those things, you form an opinion or belief, or as some coaches would say, you develop a perspective about the situation or circumstance. Sometimes you become so attached to that perspective you get caught in a repeating cycle or you develop an attitude or behaviour that just doesn’t seem to get you anywhere – you just keep circling the same old issue and not making any progress. You are ‘stuck’!

Here’s a personal example of where I got stuck; One that I’m not really proud of but I think may help illustrate what I’m talking about. It was the summer of 2009 and I was going through a difficult period in my previous career. I was stressed, brought work home with me and allowed work issues to get under my skin. Maybe you’ve had those times in your career as well? Well anyway, one weekend, one of many where I travelled home to visit my dad, I was complaining to him about work. He had always been a man of few words, but when he did speak it usually had a pretty big impact on me. That day as I walked out after venting to him he gently called to me – and from his hospital bed where he lay riddled with cancer he said, “Rob, don’t wish your life away”. I stopped in my tracks, I slowly turned and looked at his ashen face, swallowed, and then slowly walked out. Two weeks later, after a day of joking with his grandchildren, smiling, and kidding around with my brothers he passed away. I had become so preoccupied with my own problems, so stuck about how bad my work life was, that I didn’t realize who I had become and had lost sight of what was really important in my life. Boy did that comment cause me to take a step back and rethink my perspective on work and my relationships! It was a wake-up call for me.

Part of the benefit of working with a professional coach is that they can help you see places where you may be stuck, places where you are getting in your own way and limiting what’s possible for yourself. Coaches can notice patterns that you may not see and they can hold up the mirror and challenge you to take a look at what’s going on. Coaches also inspire you, help you to get clear on what you want in your life, and assist you in setting goals and putting plans in place to move toward those goals. Working with a coach is a journey of self-discovery, of renewal, and of growth that can help you discover new ways to deal with daily challenges, get ‘unstuck, and can result in transformative change. Coaching is not about healing old wounds from the past, and it’s not counselling or therapy. It is a trusting and safe, professional relationship where you decide what areas of your life you want to explore and where you can work on changes that can lead to more fulfillment, success, joy and happiness for you in your life.