Posted on May 19, 2011 by Deah Curry PhD, CPC

Change happens in two ways. It can be thrust upon us by external forces such as the requests of friends, family and others, and the unexpected shifts in life situations that demand response.

When this type of change is resisted, it can cause turbulent times in relationships, careers, perception of economic or social stability, and other intense difficulties. We tell ourselves that there’s nothing wrong with how we are, or how we’ve been doing things — if only others would realize that and cooperate.

Hmmm. Is that really true? Is it an effective position to take?

Change can also be a pro-active, self-selected, self-challenge process. When this type of change is embarked on, we are more likely to engage with it as an adventure, or an experiment. Our emotional defense mechanisms aren’t triggered because we actually can have fun and gain satisfaction from the achievements that self-determined change brings.

Being a bit of a control freak, I prefer the latter. What about you?

How can you challenge yourself today? Here are a few ideas.

1. Emotional challenge — identify a loss (of person, job, dream, etc) you haven’t grieved, and admit how that loss changed you, for better or worse. Then consider how you grew from the experience of this loss.

2. Habit challenge — select a personal habit you know you need to change, and do one small thing differently today. Make it a game, see how unusual or new or out of character you can be with your one small difference.

3. Interpersonal challenge — decide to do something impromptu that will bring a smile to a neighbor or stranger. Give an apology, or make an unexpected phone call, or leave a treat for someone who does something usually unacknowledged for you.

A bigger, better, happier, healthier, more loving, richer life starts with doing one small thing differently today.  How will you take up the challenge and more yourself forward?