Posted on June 1, 2011 by Levya Braman

Sometimes we can let our fears get the best of us.

Have you ever held back because you were afraid you’d get hurt? Sure, many of us have done that at one time or another. But, for some it can be a pattern, habit, or way of being. When that happens, your relationships will suffer.

Your fears may have surfaced in one of these ways:

• You begin to get overly self-conscious. You focus on your ‘imperfections’ and your insecurities take over. You convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes or that you are lacking, so you expect to be rejected.
• You focus on all the negative outcomes that could happen, you may look to your past (specifically times you label as ‘failures’) and expect that you’ll have the same outcome this time.
• You don’t want to risk putting yourself out there or being vulnerable; you think it’s too much to ask or it’s not worth the effort.
• Your overall outlook on life is that you think love is for others, but doubt that you’ll ever have the kind of relationship you want.  At some deep level you may think you don’t deserve it.

So, once you’ve figured out that it’s your fears that are holding you back, what do you do about it?

Well, that’s where coaching comes in – as your coach I will help you work through those fears and help you see how your fears are keeping you from experiencing what it is you most desire. Once you can see how your fears are holding you back, how they are no longer serving you, how they are keeping happiness from you, then it’s easier to begin facing them.

I would bet you’re more courageous than you think. How do I know that? Because I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with at least one time that you’ve taken action despite your fears. That means that you already have some of the skills you’ll need to face whatever fears are going on inside of you now.

We begin by finding action steps to take so you get some successes under your belt. Once you get unstuck and begin seeing all the good that is possible for you, it strengthens inner hope and confidence.

Fear is not a bad thing, it warns you of potential danger; some fears are reality-based and some are not. How you respond to your fears plays a big part in how you experience quality of life.

Isn’t it time you face your relationship fears so you can have the healthy, loving relationships you long for?!