Posted on May 6, 2014 by Cynthia Gunsinger

“A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.” ~ Unknown

Mother’s Day is about appreciation. There is no right or wrong way to handle Mother’s Day: it is a difficult day for any mother to face without her child, or for any child to face without their mother.

How to Handle Mother’s Day if You Have Recently Lost Your Mom

We asked our Coaching Community:

If you had a friend who lost their mother and this will be the first Mother’s day without their Mom, what would you tell them?

• Try not to set expectations too high for the day. Plan something that is healing for you, but realize that you will still experience a wide range of emotions. 

• Grief is exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so eat nutritious foods for the day, hydrate yourself with lots of fluids, and allow yourself time to rest and be replenished. Grief work is hard work – so acknowledge that and give yourself some extra care and attention.

• It is very difficult. I haven’t had my Mom: my friend, my confidant, with me for quite some time. I handle it by thinking of all the good times, the endless hours of conversations we had. Mothers’ Day should be every single day of your life. You should honor your mother every day, every hour and every second. Mother’s day is a very important day.

• After losing my mother when I was 9 years old, Mother’s day only became a happy occasion after I had my own daughter. I got my first Mother’s Day card, and when my husband came with my daughter in his arms and a bunch of flowers, my Mother’s Day experience turned around, and I felt happiness. I still remember my Mother, but I think of her as when she was alive, and feel in my heart that she has always been with me.

• My mother passed away three weeks before Mother’s Day. I missed her and wish she was here every day of my life, but at the same time, if I truly believe that she sees me and I don’t want her to see me crying and depressed, ruining my children’s Mother’s Day. So I celebrate my Mother’s life: sing her songs, cook her meals, love the same way she loved!

• Go to the cemetery, put a lot of beautiful flowers out and talk with her: let her know that she will be always be with you every day. Spending the rest of the day with your children, family or friends and together remember the good times.

• When my best friend lost her mother I invited her to our family dinner/gathering every Mother’s Day. She did this for about 5 years until she started her own family. To this day, she reminds me how blessed I am to ‘still’ have my mom alive and to never take her presence for granted.

• On Mother’s Day, do something that would honour your Mom. For example, if your Mom loved the beach, celebrate Mother’s Day with a beach picnic to remember all the good times you had with her at the beach. If she was a gardener, plant flowers in your yard that day, so that when your water, prune it, weed it, you feel closer to your mom. This way, you are still be spending Mother’s Day sharing those things important to her.

• Mothers are precious gifts. Your mom might be gone in body, but her spirit lives on. Never give up with keeping her in your life, always remember to share the most wonderful and sweetest memories of her. Keep her dear to your heart. Always find solace in the good things. Keep a positive attitude, try to live up to the values and morals that she instilled in you.

• Losing a mother is a difficult experience. As a mother I would want my children to celebrate the years we spent together, and through their upbringing, they know I am still celebrating that day with them.

Smile for all the special moments you shared with your mother. Strive to be the person she wanted you to be. Imitate those things you LOVED about her and you will be honouring her.

5 Simple Ways to Connect With Your Mom