Posted on November 7, 2013 by Melanie Rudnick

how to stop worrying

Worry, negative thoughts about future events, is a wasted emotion that serves no positive purpose. Over-thinking, controlling and planning-based worry may have evolved as a problem-solving methodology, but it is a trap that hinders cognitive processing and overstimulates the emotion and fear processing centres in the brain.

You know the tendency: something is pressing on your mind and you go over every possible scenario in your head. How will things play out?! The thing is, things rarely go the way you expect them to go and worrying takes you out of the present moment and has you living in our head, rather than in reality.

The future is completely uncertain, and dwelling on something that may or may not happen does nothing but cause you pain: emotionally and physically and reduces your resiliency.

Think about it…if today you are spending time feeling scared, stressed, anxious, or worried about what is going to happen tomorrow, you are wasting today. Not only that, but the hypervigilance of worry can lead to cardiovascular problems and leave your body unable to handle stress.

Today, you could be enjoying your time, but instead, you are choosing to feel unhappy, which is hard to recognize when you are caught up in the drama in your head.

In this spiral of “what-if” thinking, can you do something about your worry? 

Stop Your Worry in 5 Minutes

1. Catch Yourself.

Feeling stressed or unsettled about something that may or may not happen in the future? Stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and just acknowledge that you are worrying. That’s it.

2. Do Something.

Once you recognize your worry, are there any actions you can take in this moment that will prevent whatever it is you are worrying about? If there is something you can do, do it. If not, move along.

3. Imagine Dragons.

Like the monsters and goblins from your nightmares, worry only exists in your head. While you can’t necessarily control your thoughts, you don’t have to believe them.
There is nothing tangible or real about worrying, despite the fact that it feels really real in the moment. Which thoughts will you choose not to believe?

4. Turn on Your Lie Detector.

Like how you can tell when someone is making up a story that’s not true, you can find evidence that your worry is not true. Move past the initial “YES! It’s true.” answer from your worry and ask, is it 100% true?

5. Play Defense.

Is it possible that the thing you are worrying about might NOT happen? What if the opposite of your worry were to happen. For example, if you are worried about losing your job, is it possible to not lose it? What is the opposite of losing your job?

6. Find the Evidence.

Play detective and find the facts that prove your thought/concern untrue. Come up with at least three reasons why what you are worrying about might not be true.

7. Grab the Goods.

What’s good in this moment? The future will be dealt with in the future. Simply being aware that you are wasting your present overwhelmed by your fears of the future may be enough to calm the worry. It may not go away completely, but focusing on the good stuff in your life today is a step in the right direction.

Face it: you cannot control how other people will behave, whether or not you will find love, or if you land your dream job. In the present moment, take action when you can, and realize that worrying, obsessing or stressing will not change the outcome and stop worry from ruining your day today.