How to Go From “OH SHIT!” to “Ok”
Posted on April 26, 2020 by Mathew Riley, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Bad things happen creating OH SHIT feelings. You may not control your feelings, but you CAN control how you respond. Quickly go from OH SHIT to OK.
We all have encountered moments where our gut’s immediate reaction to something is, “OH SHIT!” This can happen when someone asks question and you don’t know the answer. When you get caught red-handed doing something you did not want others knowing you were doing. When someone calls you out on being wrong and you “sort of knew” you were “maybe” wrong, but thought it was worth the risk.
Say to yourself as a calming mantra, the five steps below before any words come out of your mouth. This pause gives you time to think first before taking action. This pause keeps poise in your pocket.
Developing the everyday habit of giving yourself a small amount of space between the stimulus (what someone else said) your reaction to it (what you say) can drastically change the outcome of the situation. The trick is to move through the steps as fast as possible without skipping any.
1. “OH SHIT”
Accept your gut’s immediate REACTION. You may think, “This is a disaster”, “I’m ruined”, “What the hell just happened?”, “I can’t fix this.” “It’s all over”. Know that this reaction IS normal and is the first step in recovery! You are looking back at what happened.
2. “OH GOD”
Acknowledge the RELEASE. You may feel like this is a huge mess and, “I’m gonna get stuck cleaning it up” or “There’s no way I can clean this up.” or “Shit like this always happens to me”. It IS okay to feel however you feel. It is NOT okay to say whatever you want. You are still looking back but now you are looking at what you’re feeling about it.
3. “Oh JEEZE”
Compose yourself to be able to RE-CENTER. Think about what you CAN do and say instead of what you CAN’T do or say. Optimism will emerge by thinking: “Alright, I can fix this”, it may or may not be exactly what I want but it will be the best I can make it.” You are transitioning from looking back to looking ahead.
4. “OH WELL”
Set yourself up for success with an intentional RE-FOCUS. Know and think, “I’m not going to let this ruin my day, career, life, this relationship, and there is something I need to do right now to make it better.” Refocus the relationship between your feelings and your words or actions and chose those that will set you up for a positive outcome from what comes next.
5. “OK”
This is the moment to RE-ENGAGE in order to successfully recover. This is your words telling your psyche that internally you’re ready to fix this! You are ready to say your well-thought-out words with the right tone of voice, facial expression and body language. Everything about you sends the message that you are ready to make things right.
So, when you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, say to yourself the mantra, “Oh shit, oh god, oh jeeze, oh well, OK!” Then say what you were going to say or do what you got to do.
