Part 5...the dark side of a simplified life
Posted on June 23, 2020 by Ben Brown, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
The darker side of a simplified life
Any living situation has its challenges. And when you're in such a confined space, there are going to be things that come up. I'm going to use this opportunity to highlight a few of the not so glamorous things about living tiny. The first thing that comes to mind is the occasional feeling antsy and or caged in. Every now and again, there will be 3 straight days of rain or insane snow that keeps me from going outside much. The first day or two, its cozy. You're curled up on the couch with a book listening to the rain or watching the snow fall and its lovely. But after a little while, you start to feel like you need to get outside. Fortunately for me, I've got climbing holds all over the walls and the ceiling so I can get quite the energy and exercise out just moving around a few laps. And then in a severe case, again, thankfully very rarely, I'll just go spend the day at a friend's house. There's something strange about feeling lonely from time to time in a place like this. You can feel like the whole world is going on without you. In 18 feet, there's no doubt that you're the only one home. On the occasional lonely feeling days, it can be quite nerve racking. Sometimes, I turn on the TV to remember there's the world outside and other times I'll just in the silence and embrace what feels like loneliness. But for the most part, it always feels like a place of solace and quiet solitude. The other thing about that is, once a friend or two comes to visit for an hour maybe once or twice that week, you REALLY want your space by the time they leave. There's definitely lots of time to connect with yourself...maybe too much. I'm a deep thinker. I once had a college roommate say to me "You have to remember, you're not like most people. I mean you go places that nobody goes to and think about shit nobody else thinks about." This made me laugh at the time. Its nice when your friends have you pegged. But there's a fine balance between enjoying time to yourself, meditating, etc. and starting to "get into your own head" more than is healthy. And lets face it, when you're living in a space this small, its not there's a lot of room to "entertain." It still feels cozy when my partner comes to visit for dinner. But anymore than 2 people in here at once can feel a little cushy. It wouldn't be an honest tiny blog if I didn't address one minor little detail. They are in fact illegal to live inhabit in most areas of the country. I just happen to live in one of the few places in the country that have passed local legislation around them being legal as long as they are under the title of ADU's or auxiliary dwelling units. These are smaller spaces "like mother-in-law" apartments or cottages that reside in someone's backyard used to rent out the space. There are of course quite a few hoops to be jumped through, but it can be done. There are number of reasons for the illegality of living in these structures. But just to name a few, there are all sorts of zoning codes that state that if its on wheels, it cannot be lived in full-time. There are minimum square footage requirements, certain numbers of exits needed, the exits must be certain sizes and my personal favorite, they must be larger than 500 square feet to be considered inhabitable. And then there's the obvious little requirements to be hooked up to city sewer. Somehow, this day in age, in good old America, there are very few places that actually are educated on composting toilets. Officials are clueless when it comes to how they function, the environmental advantages and efficiency of them. For example, my compost toilet consists of a 5 gallon bucket and some saw dust. There's no smell in the bucket nor in the compost pile out back. The compost pile serves as compost for a number of friend's gardens where they actually pay me for my poop. And my personal favorite benefit, I'm not wasting 8 gallons of perfectly fresh drinking water every time. In any event, its important to be either really aware of meeting the legal criteria for living in such a structure, or do what most of the tiny house community does and "fly under the radar" if at all possible. And of course, be prepared to move at anytime should you receive a 30 day notice to vacate. It only takes one complaint from one neighbor to a city code enforcement officer and you're on the run looking for another place to park the thing. Easier said than done. So either have neighbors that don't care or park it in a wooded area where nobody would ever know the difference. I want to be very clear here. I'm not telling anyone to go "break the law." I'm just writing about my particular (legal) circumstance, hoping to inform those that might be interested in living this lifestyle, the realities of going after it. They almost never talk about this side of things on the TV shows. They just show the glamorous people all happy in their tiny space. They need to make a follow up show called, "searching for a place to park our dream home." Not necessarily a "dark side" to living tiny but certainly two BIG things to consider before thinking about pulling the trigger are the following questions. Where will I be getting water and power hooked up? The first easy answer is, haul your water in from a friend's house. Its a pain in the ass but its way cheaper than digging a well. In my case, I haul water in the winter and we happen to have a well here on property that I use in the summer. As far as power goes, that's a little trickier depending on where you're parking the thing. I had an electrical hookup wired to the workshop of the land owner so that was pretty rad of him! Solar is just not practical right now unless you have a fat wallet and you're running very little electricity. But to give you an idea of how far we have to go with solar, it would take 20 years before a solar system that would allow me continue living my current lifestyle to be profitable. Even at my most expensive months, its just not worth it. Along with this whole list of issues, one should absolutely consider how much water you're going to use each week. If you're willing to only turn the shower on to get wet and rinse, you can really conserve the water usage. But most of us spoiled Americans love our long hot showers. The average american uses between 80 and 100 gallons of water in their shower. For reference, my water storage tank is 80 gallons. Its about my height (5'11) and just wide enough for a 145 pound person to stand in it. In other words, we use A LOT of water in this country when we shower. And when you have to haul your water in during the winter at 65 lbs in each hand, you start to really pay attention to how much water you actually need to live. So be realistic about how much water you think you'll be using if you're thinking of pulling the trigger. I do know people that do not have running water in their tiny homes. They just shower at the gym, do laundry at friend's houses or laundro-mats and brush their teeth from a water bottle. I confess, I'm not that hardcore, not for more than a week or two anyway. Lets talk about living as a couple. If you're going to try and do the tiny couple thing, you'd better like each other...a lot! I do know a few a couples out there that make work. But it takes a lot of work. So if you're thinking of pulling THAT trigger, I would highly suggest that you go spend a week together in one using an Air Bnb or a tiny house hotel experience and experiment. Or, go live in a van or even a car together for 2 weeks. IF you don't divorce, separate or kill one another, you might have a shot at living happily tiny together. There's the lovely little topic that everyone somehow always asks about. Did you just poop?! To be clear, there's no escape. Open a window...sure. But it doesn't do much. The reality is, there's not a lot of privacy if you have company over. You learn to not be modest and just accept that we're all human. Although, some people are a little subconscious to hear their friend or their mate peeing in a bucket. The elephant in the room, do you guys have sex in there? What's tiny house sex shagging like anyway? Well, since you asked, its like having sex in your own house. You're just limited to a few go to positions and if you're in the loft, you have to try not to bump your head, less you ruin the moment and then play time is over real quickly. A lovely little question I get asked a lot is to Loft or not to Loft? The big advantage, SPACE SAVER! There are floor plans out there that call for a "guest room" or even a main bedroom downstairs. These floor plans are usually designed with the elderly or the disabled in mind. For the most part, I love having a loft. The only downside is having to use motor skills and thought getting down a ladder in the middle of the night when you're brain isn't exactly firing on all cylinders. But otherwise, I've loved it up there! Its just so cozy! And if you're going to loft, have a skylight that opens and a back window that also opens for cross ventilation breezes in the nicer months.