Is There A Hole in Your Bucket?

Posted on July 10, 2011 by Carla Langmead, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

1.I recently read somewhere that ‘love’ is about what others give you. Im not convinced that whatever ‘love’ is, can be packaged into one neat little compartment, but Im positive there is a degree of truth in it. When we fall in love it feels like the ‘drug’ that’s going to heal all wounds. We all recognise on a physiological level how it makes us feel. It’s easy to see why some people become addicted and eternally chase that love drug high. When people fall in love I think of 2 buckets, each one representing the individuals. Each bucket has holes in which reflect our needs, faults and imperfections. When we fall for someone we miraculously feel ‘whole’ and we attribute that to the other person plugging up our bucket. So I can see why some people think that it is about what you ‘get’ from another, and yes it’s an addictive feeling that most have experienced and most miss when it leaves us. How about considering that you have the ability and the know how to manage your own needs? After all they’re your needs not someone elses! That your partner is there to help when you sometimes can’t manage and together you help each other to become two wholes not because two halves make the whole.

It certainly helps if you can identify what some of your holes in your buckets are.

See if you can name three of your own.
How do you get those needs met?
Is this a long or short term need?
Do you think you can meet that need yourself?
What other ways do you think you can get those needs met?
Is having those needs met to the detriment of someone else?

Carla is Whanganui’s Wellness Coach.
Counselling Skills Certified.
www.wellnesscoaching.ac.nz