The Reinvented Self vs. the Real You and Why Tech Is Full of Martin Guerres

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Nikolas Dimitroulakis, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

The Tale of Two Martins

For those not familiar with this (amazing and weird) story. Martin Guerre was a French peasant who, after a dispute with his father, disappeared for eight years. During his absence, a man named Arnaud took his place, convincingly living as Martin, his wife Bertrande and the village none the wiser. This imposter was kinder, warmer, and more loving than the real Martin ever was.

Eventually, the real Martin returned, sparking a dramatic trial where the villagers had to decide who the “real” Martin was. The twist? Bertrande had known the truth but accepted Arnaud because he was a better husband. The “fake” Martin was more real in his love and kindness than the original.

The Tech Parallel: Reinventing Yourself or Losing Yourself?

This story resonates deeply with those of us in tech and startups, where rapid change and evolving roles are the norm. Often, like Arnaud, we put on a mask to fit expectations, a more competent, confident, or agreeable version of ourselves. We “fake it” to gain trust, lead teams, or launch products.

But here’s the catch: over time, maintaining that version of ourselves, especially if it’s not aligned with who we truly are, can lead to exhaustion and burnout. You become a high-performing impostor, valued for your output but disconnected from your core identity.

Impostor Syndrome: The Double-Edged Sword

Impostor syndrome in tech isn’t just about feeling inadequate; it’s also about the pressure to live up to the “better you” that others see and expect. It can create a feedback loop where you push yourself harder to prove that you belong, sometimes at the cost of your well-being.

Bertrande’s dilemma was similar. She chose to accept the “better” Martin even though she knew he wasn’t the original. Many tech professionals choose to embrace their reinvented selves because the original feels too flawed, too vulnerable, or not good enough.

The Burnout Connection: When the Better You Breaks Down

But being the “better you” is often exhausting. It requires constant energy to maintain the facade and deny the parts of yourself that feel overwhelmed or insecure. Burnout happens when this dissonance between your true self and your assumed self grows too wide.

As a coach, I often work with tech professionals who feel trapped in this paradox. They’re admired externally but internally feel somewhat disconnected. They fear losing their “better version” and yet feel hollowed out.

Embracing Microhistory: Discovering Your Inner Stories

The historian Natalie Zemon Davis coined the term microhistory to describe uncovering the small, personal stories that reveal larger truths. In coaching, this is what we do with identity: we excavate your personal history, beliefs, and values to understand who you are beneath the roles you play.

By understanding your “inner Martin” and “inner Arnaud,” you can start integrating these parts rather than living as an impostor. This integration is key to sustainable performance and authentic leadership.

Coaching Tech People Through Identity Shifts

In tech, career paths are rarely linear. People grow, roles evolve, and sometimes, you outgrow your previous self. Coaching helps you:

*Recognize when you’re sustaining a persona that no longer fits

*Navigate the complexity of evolving identities without losing yourself

*Build resilience to prevent burnout while staying authentic

*Embrace imperfection and vulnerability as strengths, not weaknesses

The story of Martin Guerre reminds us that identity isn’t fixed. It’s a story we continuously write—sometimes with borrowed chapters. The challenge is to write yours with awareness and kindness, not at the expense of your well-being.

Final Thoughts

If you feel like you’re playing a role that’s not quite “you” in your career, you’re not alone and you are certainly not a failure. Like Bertrande, sometimes we choose what feels better, even if it’s complicated. The journey to authentic selfhood in tech isn’t about perfection; it’s about honesty and courage.