You Are Not a Perfectionist (and How I know)

Posted on August 03, 2025 by Dina Maccabee, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

If you’ve ever done any of these things, chances are someone (including yourself) has told you you’re a perfectionist:

- Wished you could make changes to a project after it was already public
- Procrastinated implementing a great idea because you worried you might not do it justice
- Found your thoughts returning over and over to a flub, while forgetting about the positive results of a successful presentation

Sound familiar? You’ve probably also about research in economics and cognitive science showing that human brains are biased to dwell on the negative.

And yet… we don’t need a scientific study to prove everyone makes mistakes! So… let’s add that up:

A: Errors and imperfections are unavoidable.
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B: Human brains are biased to notice and dwell on them.
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C: As a perfectionist human, you’re doomed to feel unsatisfied.

Ouch.

But is this really true? In fact, I have some great news:

You are not a perfectionist.

And how can I be so sure?

Because “perfectionism” describes a set of actions, not a personality trait or character flaw. (!!) Although the combination of a strong eye for errors and a strong need to fix them is real, especially for artists and people who care deeply about their work, there is no such thing as a perfectionist. Just humans who, at certain times, exhibit that combination.

Okay, you might be thinking, so I’m a person with perfectionism… is that so bad? Doesn’t it help me do tasks well – even if I sometimes struggle to get them across the finish line, or feel satisfaction after they’re done?

In and of itself, perfectionism is neither good nor bad. The urge to hunt down small errors that others may miss can absolutely help your effectiveness as a great proofreader, a fine artisan, or a respected researcher. The question is: if you have this capacity, are you able to use it with intention? Or are there times when you wish (or others wish for you) that you could just… let it go?

Any thoughts and behaviors we’ve practiced for our whole lives merit cozy curiosity and a period of earnest practice to effectively shift. To get started, here are my top tips for recognizing the thoughts and behaviors associated with perfectionism, so you can start deciding for yourself whether this superpower is working for you or not.

1. Notice your process.

Start observing your steps while creating, without trying to change anything. If you’re a writer, do you write a rough draft first and then make edits, or do you take time choosing each word in order? If you paint, do you pencil in the outlines first, or go right in with colors? What cues do you use to decide when a task is done? There’s no “right way” – just notice what you do and how it feels to do it.

2. Turn the spotlight around.

Start noticing how you react when other people make mistakes. If someone you care about isn’t the world’s greatest speller, do you love them less? How about if a small child has their shirt on backwards? Can you more easily find humor and humanity in imperfections, if they are not your own?

3. Let your perfectionism play.

If you’ve ever admired someone with a nonchalant quality, you may have tried to “stop being so perfectionistic.” Instead, I recommend you get curious about what bugs you! Take out a journal and pen, and let perfectionism have the microphone for a few minutes every day. What does it tell you? What do you wish were different, and what bugs you repeatedly?

If you start applying these tips with curiosity and a desire to shift, I guarantee you’ll be surprised at what you find.