The Coach's Guide to CBT-REBT for ADHD
Posted on August 20, 2025 by Michael Zone, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Empower your ADHD clients by integrating CBT-REBT. Focus on tackling emotional & behavioral challenges through mindset shifts and practical strategies
A New Toolkit for ADHD Coaching
Many coaches work with clients who have ADHD, but standard coaching tools sometimes fall short when addressing the underlying emotional distress and self-defeating thoughts that accompany the condition. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and its offshoot, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), provide powerful frameworks that can be integrated into your coaching practice to help clients not just manage their symptoms but also change their relationship with their ADHD.
The Core Problem: A Vicious Cycle of Thought and Emotion
ADHD is more than just a deficit in attention or hyperactivity. It often creates a cycle of negative self-talk, frustration, and avoidance. Clients might think, “I’m lazy and can’t get anything done,” leading to feelings of shame and anxiety, which in turn causes them to avoid tasks, reinforcing the original negative thought.
This is where CBT-REBT shines. Instead of just focusing on external behaviors (like using a planner), it targets the thoughts and core beliefs that are driving the emotional distress.
Key Concepts to Integrate
1. The A-B-C Model
At the heart of REBT is the A-B-C model:
A – Activating Event: The situation that triggers a response (e.g., getting a late notice for a bill).
B – Beliefs: The thought or belief about the event (e.g., “I’m so irresponsible; I can never keep my life together”).
C – Consequences: The emotional and behavioral result (e.g., feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, leading to procrastination).
As a coach, you can help clients identify their "B"s—the irrational beliefs—and challenge them. Use questions like:
“What’s the story you’re telling yourself about this?”
“Is that thought 100% true? What’s an alternative explanation?”
2. Differentiating Healthy vs. Unhealthy Negative Emotions
REBT distinguishes between healthy and unhealthy negative emotions. It’s okay to feel disappointed about a setback, but it’s irrational to feel shame and worthlessness. Teach clients this distinction.
Healthy: Disappointment, frustration, concern. These motivate action.
Unhealthy: Depression, rage, anxiety. These are paralyzing.
By helping clients label and reframe their emotions, you empower them to move from a place of self-blame to one of problem-solving.
3. Disputation and Restructuring
The “D” in the extended A-B-C-D-E model stands for Disputation. This is the core skill you’ll teach. Help your clients challenge their irrational beliefs using evidence-based questions:
“Where’s the evidence that you’re ‘a total failure’?”
“What’s the worst that could really happen if you’re not perfect?”
“How does this thought help you get what you want?”
Once an irrational belief is disputed, you can work with the client to create a new, more rational belief (the “E” for “Effective New Philosophy”). For example, instead of “I am lazy and irresponsible,” a client might adopt the belief, “I have ADHD, which makes some tasks harder, so I need to find new strategies to manage them.”
Practical Coaching Strategies for ADHD Clients
Cognitive Restructuring: When a client says, “I can’t focus on anything,” guide them to reframe it to, “I can’t focus on this right now, but I can focus for 15 minutes if I take a break and then get back to it.”
“What If?” Scenarios: Help clients challenge catastrophic thinking by exploring alternative outcomes. “What if you don’t finish the entire project today? What can you get done that still makes you feel a little productive?”
Action-Oriented Homework: REBT is not just talk; it’s about action. Assign homework that challenges a core belief. If a client believes they are “flaky,” assign them the homework to follow through on one small promise to themselves each day.
Focus on Unconditional Self-Acceptance: Many ADHD clients link their self-worth to their productivity. Use REBT to introduce the concept of Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA). Remind them that their worth is not determined by their ability to complete tasks flawlessly.
The Bigger Picture: Logotherapy 2.0
By integrating CBT-REBT, you’re not just providing a quick fix; you’re helping clients find a higher purpose. When an individual with ADHD can challenge their self-defeating thoughts and see their struggles not as personal failures but as challenges to be overcome, they are empowered to find meaning in their life and work. As a coach, this approach allows you to address the meaning and purpose needs of your clients by helping them shift from a mindset of deficit to one of growth and value. It’s an approach that moves beyond symptom management to true self-discovery and empowerment.
