7 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Esteem (and Why It Matters)

Posted on September 17, 2025 by Michael Clark, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Low self-esteem isn’t just “feeling bad about yourself.” It can shape how you think, how you let others treat you, and even whether you go after the things you want in life.

But here’s the good news: self-esteem isn’t something to be fixed because nothing is broken. You can strengthen it with steady, intentional steps and shifing your thinking.

Here are 7 practical ways to start building healthier self-esteem:

1. Reframe Your Inner Critic—and Your Fear of Failure
That voice in your head that says “You’re not good enough” or “You’ll never get it right”? That’s your inner critic. Left unchecked, it magnifies mistakes and fuels fear of failure.

Try this: When you catch negative self-talk, pause and ask: “Would I speak this way to a friend?” Replace harsh judgments with kinder, realistic statements.

Reframe failure: Instead of “I blew it,” try “I learned something I can use next time.” Each reframe weakens the critic’s grip.

2. Accept Compliments Without Deflecting
Many people with low self-esteem dismiss praise: “Oh, it was nothing.” But compliments are opportunities to rewrite your story about yourself.

Action step: The next time someone offers you praise, don’t minimize it. Take a breath, smile, and say “Thank you—I appreciate that.” Over time, this reinforces a more balanced self-image.

3. Respect Your Own Needs—Not Just Others’
Low self-esteem often shows up as people-pleasing: saying yes when you want to say no, overextending yourself to keep others happy. Boundaries protect your time, energy, and emotional health.

Try this boundary exercise: Write down one area of your life where you feel drained. Ask yourself: “If I valued my needs as much as others’, what would I do differently here?” Then take one small step toward that.

4. Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else
Social comparison is natural, but constant “upward comparison” (looking at those you think are better) can chip away at self-worth.

Shift your lens: Instead of “I’ll never measure up,” try “What can I learn from them?”

Social media tip: If certain accounts make you feel inadequate, unfollow or mute them. Curate your environment to support your self-esteem.

5. Build Confidence Through Small Challenges
Confidence doesn’t appear overnight—it’s earned through repeated small wins. Each time you face a challenge and come out the other side, your trust in yourself grows.

Start here: Pick one area where you’ve been holding back. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying a new hobby, or reaching out to a mentor. Start small, and let those victories build momentum.

6. Practice Self-Assertion: Ask Clearly, Decide Confidently
Low self-esteem often makes people hesitant to ask for help or fearful of making the wrong decision. The antidote? Practice self-assertion.

Ask clearly: Instead of hinting, try a direct request: “I need support with this project” or “Could you clarify this step?”

Decide confidently: Give yourself a time frame for decisions, then commit. Confidence comes not from perfection but from learning you can handle the outcome.

7. Focus on What You Can Control—and Believe in What’s Ahead
Feeling powerless or hopeless feeds low self-esteem. But when you take ownership of even small actions, you rebuild a sense of control. Pair this with cultivating hope for the future.

Action step: Make two lists—

“Things I can control” (my effort, habits, responses)
“Things I can’t control” (others’ opinions, the past) Put your energy into the first list. Then, balance it by writing down three things you’re hopeful about for the future.

Self-esteem doesn’t mean thinking you’re flawless. It means believing you’re worthy of love, respect, and growth. Strengthening it unlocks healthier relationships, clearer decisions, and more confidence to pursue what matters most.

If any of these 7 strategies speaks to you right now or you would like to learn more on how to implement them in your life – let’s chat – calendly.com/clarkcoachingservices/life-coach-clarity-session