I love you, don't look at me!
Posted on March 26, 2012 by Corinne Valentine, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Why we seem able to stare anger in the face and turn away from love.
I love you, don’t look at me!
Why is it that so many of us when feeling angry at someone or wronged in any way by them we like nothing more than to look them straight in the eye and let them know exactly how we feel. However, when it comes to connecting and sharing our feelings of love we squirm in our seats and look around the room avoiding eye contact all together.
THIS WEEKS QUESTION? Why are some of us able to hold on to anger and feed off it like a parasite and yet we allow love to slip through the cracks and at times avoid it altogether?
Throughout time most poets, philosophers, spiritual leaders and those who come back from near death experiences all refer to one common thing. That life is ultimately all about connecting to other human beings. At times in our lives there may have been moments of “close calls” where we almost lost ourselves or someone we love and vow to remember that there is nothing more important than the ones we love. That we will spend more time enjoying life and telling people I love you. Why does that always fade away? We go back to our hectic lives and back to being annoyed at others or at what is not going right in our lives.
Is it because love at times can make us feel vulnerable and anger can sometimes give us the feeling of being strong? Is it because if we are angry at someone and they leave us, we can say “it doesn’t matter”? If we are in love with someone and they leave us, it can shake us to our core. Is it because other people see you as a “bad ass’ when you’re angry and a “weak fool” when you would do anything for another because of love. Have we told ourselves that love sucks, hurts and keeps us down because we are holding on to past experiences? Do we see anger like a suit of armor and love life an exposed wound?
We don’t have to wait until our own near death experience or death itself to reverse this way of thinking. We can tell ourselves the truth.
Being openly vulnerable takes a great deal of strength and holding on to anger is a weakness. If someone leaves us, we always care no matter what we say. So no matter how much time we have with someone, why not make the best out of it. You are a “weak fool” when you pretend to care for nothing and a born leader when you can show the world what your love can do. Nothing in the past that has hurt us is worth holding on to. True love, true human connection, is the only thing worth holding on to forever. If anger is a suit of armor it does not protect us from people it repels them, until eventually we are left with only a few people or by ourselves. Also, if love really is like an exposed wound, why does it feel so natural so good?
Again, when we know that love is the pinnacle of life, the cherry to the sundae, the key to our own hearts, why do we make it so hard? Is whatever we are angry about really worth more than loosing out on one of life’s most precious gifts?
Would you rather walk around feeling tense, angry, and bitter because of your need to be right, or because someone may have let you down after you expected more of them or they dared to have their own opinion and at times feel like it’s you against the world?
OR
Would you rather walk around feeling relaxed, loved and have a sense of belonging. Do you want to be able to sit across from the one you love and look deep in their eyes without squirming in your seat and really experience what it is like to have a soul deep connection with another person.
Want to feel like the world is with you and we are all connected?
Decided what you want more of in life. Darkness or Light? Fear or Hope? Anger or Love?
Being right, having money, seeing new things have shiny new toys can be fun. Having personal happiness and making love a priority is everlasting.
WEEKLY TIP: Take a deep breath before you start to argue or say something to hurt someone. Remind yourself that anger and resentment is a lonely dark road. Make eye contact with everyone you meet, connect. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
THIS WEEK: BE FULL OF LOVE!
www.coachvalentine.com
Layton’s last words: ‘Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear’
