Why Mental Hygiene Belongs at the Top of Your Life Goals List1

Posted on May 05, 2014 by Charlie Birch, One of Thousands of Entrepreneurship Coaches on Noomii.

Years ago I took a trip to Mississippi with my now ex-boyfriend. At dinner one night a family friend asked him, in my presence, what do you like about this girl?

His answer surprised and flattered me. He said, “Charlie makes me think about what I am thinking.”

Between my studies in psychology, cultural competency, psychosomatic illness, and diversity and inclusion, I have learned that most people (myself included) don’t think about what they are thinking.

This is very bizarre actually, because as a culture we tend to craft our identities around our minds, much more regularly than around our bodies. For instance, when you ask someone about themselves you are likely to get answers like:

I love good music and film.
I don’t like hiking.
I am a foodie.
I can’t stand it when people are late.

You are less likely to get answers like:

I am 5’3”.
I have a scar on my leg.
I hold tension in my upper back.
This is my natural hair color.

Despite tending to express our identities based on likes and dislikes (our minds), we spend way more time keeping our bodies clean and hygienic than we do consciously and constructively processing emotions and unpacking our belief systems. You probably know many people who carry antibacterial lotion. Why? Because we know that bad bacteria can get into our systems and cause harm. We learn this in school, at home, at work, and via many other avenues.
However, as a culture we don’t teach mental hygiene as a concept or a practice. Why aren’t we teaching that ideas can also be toxic to our systems, our relationships, and our environment?

Here are my thoughts on why:

On an individual level… Admitting malfunction and lack of control over the body is safe and socially acceptable. However, admitting malfunction and lack of control over our minds is scary and socially stigmatized.

On a cultural level… Since our culture values independence and free will, the science around cultured thought is not compatible with our dominate paradigm. We believe we are free thinkers, and thus any evidence that suggests otherwise may not even get past our filters.

Truth is, there are millions of little memes flying through your energy field at any given point in time. A meme is:

…an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. They act as units for carrying cultural ideas, symbols, or practices that can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals, or other imitable phenomena with a mimicked theme.

Like germs to our bodies, memes slither into your mind without your permission. Memes then determine your worldview. Your worldview is the massive filter through which you experience the world. How you make meaning of your experience depends on previously held beliefs. The meaning you make creates new thoughts and often these thoughts are what motivate action.

Like genes, memes operate under the survival of the fittest principal. It is not the best ideas that survive, rather the ones that are reinforced the most. With all the media exposure we encounter, shitty half-baked backwards ideas are all over the place: fear and hate mongering, victimhood, and so on. Without good mental hygiene practices you can’t be sure what thoughts are running the show.

Failure to tend to our mental hygiene can lead to mental and physical illness. This is why I teach mental hygiene to my chronic pain clients. For example: Internal dialogues framed with should and shouldn’t, promote social control and shame and cause constriction and inflammation in the body (e.g., hypertension, joint pain)

Failure to tend to our mental hygiene can keep us stuck under the control of limiting beliefs and ego-driven thinking. This is why I teach mental hygiene to my workaholic clients. For example: an idea like ‘hard work is the key to success’ paired with ‘in order to be productive I must constantly be working,’ causes burnout, lost focus, physical health issues, and relationship demise, to name a few. Ironically, it’s actually rest and play that help workers stay engaged and productive over long periods of time.

It can be scary to pull back to curtain and take a real good look at what ideas and beliefs are dominating our thoughts. Often times what we really think about ourselves, our loved ones, and the state of the world is much more complex than we like to think. Sometimes we uncover core beliefs that are in total contrast to who we thought we were and what we stand for. However, when we don’t look inside our minds, we just go around on auto pilot. If we don’t know what we are thinking we can’t make conscious choices, and we give over control to unconscious memes and messages. Personally, I would prefer to learn hard truths about what I really think than walk around the world unconsciously living in a state of misalignment.

You can be your own greatest resource and ally, but you can also be your own worst enemy. It is up to you! So are you ready to add mental hygiene to your list of life goals? Wondering how?

Here are some suggestions:

Physical Activity and Mindfulness- What thoughts are running through your mind when you are engaging the body.

Example: No Pain No Gain.
How to work with a thought: No Pain No Gain, Huh that is interesting. Can I think of a time in my life where this has been disproven? Yes, that Yin yoga class was so wonderful I gained more energy and more mental focus and I felt like I was asleep the whole class! NO pain in sight! Wow!! I wonder what would happen if I listened to my pain instead of ignoring it or fighting against it! hmm… I really hate my boss she is such a nasty person to work for, maybe I don’t have to tolerate that kind of treatment to get ahead. Maybe I would actually advance my career more quickly if I stop sucking it up and start looking for a job that will celebrate my contributions. AND ON AND ON!!

Meditation- is a great way to improve your ability to track your thoughts or shift your way of thinking. Some practices to consider are:

· Shamata (concentration and non-attachment practice)
· Maitri (cultivate compassion and loving-kindness)
· Affirmations (shed limiting beliefs).

Coaching/Counseling- is a great way to uncover patterns of thinking that are not serving you. A great way to establish accountability that promotes change.

Example: I think about my therapist as my bullshit meter! She helps me see when my behaviors and thoughts are incongruent and I love her for it!

Alright, that is what I think about that, at least as far as I know in this moment.