How to Clarify Exactly What You Want: Tips to Help You Move Forward
Posted on May 09, 2017 by Tracy Baranauskas, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Do want to make a change in your life but struggle to identify exactly what you want? Here are some ideas to help you gain clarity.
Sometimes when people feel they are ready for a change, they are not exactly sure what direction they want to go in. This ambivalence then keeps them from making any movement at all, despite strong feelings of discontentment. If this sounds like you, then here is some inspiration to help you move forward.
1. Say it out loud! When we are children, we usually have no problem dreaming big! We aspire to be astronauts, sports champions, artists and more with little worry about how we will make it happen. However over time, well-meaning adults often tell us that our goals “aren’t possible”, and then we move on to what is perceived as more “reasonable” ambitions. As a personal development coach, I create a safe, supportive environment for my clients to “say it out loud” by reassuring them that no dream is impractical or ridiculous. All people who have done big things started by taking the risk of being vulnerable and saying what they want. I encourage everyone to dare to dream. Don’t worry about how you will make it happen. First, make a decision to put “it” on the table. Otherwise, how can you possibly develop an action plan to achieve a goal that is not even identified?
2. Get clear about what you don’t want: Although many of my clients are initially not sure about what they want for their lives, most are absolutely sure about what they don’t want. If they are unhappy with their career or a relationship, they often have no problem making a list of all the aspects they do not like. If you can relate to this, then try this exercise. Think about an area of your life you would like to change. On one side of a paper, write all the aspects you no longer want for that area. Be specific. For example, if you don’t like your job, you may list: 1. Inflexible hours, 2. Being micromanaged, 3. Negative coworkers, 4. Too much overtime/late work nights. Next, draw a line down the center of the paper. In the second column, let what you don’t want guide you to list what you do want from a new job. For instance: 1. Flexible hours, 2. Freedom to make decisions, 3. Positive work environment, 4. Daytime only hours. This exercise is a simple way to help you get clear about what you want.
3. Future journal: Since it is often difficult for most of us to think outside of our comfort zone because we get stuck on the “hows”, this exercise can help you jump ahead and develop a sharp vision for your future. For this exercise, think about how your ideal life would look exactly five years from now. Then, write a page in your “future journal”, in present-tense, as if you were writing it in the moment. Be as detailed as possible. Where are you living and who are you living with? What type of career do you have? What are your days like? Again, don’t worry about the “hows”. You can develop a plan for that later. This exercise has helped many of my clients gain clarity and pinpoint the direction they want to move in.
4. Hire a coach: While clarifying what you want is not easy, it is essential for you to move forward. You must learn to turn off the negative thoughts that are getting in the way of your dreams. A personal development coach can help you to define your strengths and talents, and build the confidence necessary to take action and go after your true aspirations. You have just this one life. It’s time to get going!
