Don't Peel The Bark
Posted on August 28, 2017 by James Hartley, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
Bark on a tree and your relationship how are they comparable?
If a tree’s bark is damaged it can repair but leaves a forever scar. If the bark is too badly damaged, the tree will die. Many things can damage the bark of a tree leaving it vulnerable; nature in the form of lightening, wind and fire, insect and other living organisms that forage for food either under the bark or for the bark itself.
So what do tree bark and relationships have in common? Well, think of a new relationship where two people have decided to engage in a committed exclusive intimate partnership or even good friends. The two enter into the relationship because the chemistry feels right and there is mutual agreement to pursue a life of togetherness . Like the bark of the healthy tree with no scars the pair start off on a journey of discovery together.
Think about how a tree can lose bits of its bark. Although it can heal, the scars remain for the life of the tree. Too much trauma to the bark of the tree, leaves it vulnerable beyond repair and it dies. The analogy of the tree bark and relationships are comparable.
No relationship is perfect and we are bound to cause some damage to the bark over the life span of a relationship. If not too damaged we heal and, yes there are scars, but not so much so that it is detrimental to the overall health of the relationship. If we are not careful to learn and grow from the situations that lead to bruising of the bark, the damage can become compounded and serious loss of bark can occur. If the situation is not caught and treated in time, the damage can be so traumatic that the relationship dies.
Here is a list of 10 things that can damage the strongest of relationships:
1. Lack of intimacy
2. Not trusting each other
3. Never sharing your feelings
4. Start taking each other for granted
5. Always being dissatisfied
6. Keeping Score
7. Being too clingy
8. Forgetting to prioritize
9. Holding on to the past
10. Expecting the other person to change
If you are able to identify that some of these situations are present within your relationship, reach out and get some supports in place, to help get your relationship on track and healthier. A life coach can help.
There is a solution for every situation and the sun is always shining somewhere.
