Not To Proud To Beg

Posted on August 28, 2017 by James Hartley, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

We are the parents of a child who is experiencing a mental health break; nearly an adult and this situation just emerges from seemingly out of thin air. Our child is smart, athletically capable, moral and kind; what has happened that is now threatening our child’s future and our dreams for our child’s future. This situation is effecting our whole family, our child’s thought and behaviours are so unlike the child we have known since birth. How do we help?  What do we need to do to get our child back?

This scenario happens many times over in many families, around the globe; mental health issues do not discriminate and have a challenging impact on the individual and the family. As parents we hope that whatever caused the mental health break will just magically go away and we get our “normal” child back. We are in denial that this is happening to our child; it will get better and everything will be okay. We become emotional and stressed. We are having difficulties within our family unit brought upon by our distress over the challenges our child’s emerging needs bring into our already stressful lives. Our child has had to be seen by mental health professionals and as such has been placed on mood stabilising medication because of a glitch in the chemistry in our child’s brain is causing mood instability. We grieve and long for our child to just return to “normal.”

The child knows something is wrong with them and also wants things to return to “normal” but does not know how to control what is going on within their brain.  It is confusing, scary and stressful. When things are really out of whack, it manifests as uncharacteristic behaviour such as attacks on the ones the child loves; including excessive disobedience leading to combative language and, finally, acts of aggression. Once the child realises what has taken place and is thinking more clearly the child is remorseful, apologetic and ashamed. The child uses substance as a means of self-medication and on occasion it seems to bring mental clarity; however, in combination with the prescription medication it is making things worse and exacerbating the problem. 

This cycle and the increase in the severity of the child’s behavior now has the parent feeling desperate to help their child, as it is too difficult for parents to see their child in this state of internal chaos. When do you reach out and to whom?

It is difficult as a parent to not let your emotions take over when someone you love is experiencing  a negative life changing event, such as a mental health disorder. Don’t go it alone; there is help for your loved one and the family as a whole. When challenges such as these are presented to families, it is important that families get the supports needed to assist them though the challenges that come along when dealing with mental health crisis. 

There is a solution for every situation and the sun is always shining somewhere.