"How silence can enrich your marriage."
Posted on May 15, 2019 by Julius Xavier, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.
Learn to be more understanding, engage in mindful listening and your love will shine through brighter than ever.
Relationships don’t just appear and disappear magically. They require a great deal of hard work and attentive care to help them grow and to keep them sustained. Mature love involves honoring our differences yet overcoming distances on practically a daily basis. It accepts the reality that every relationship will have its fair share of pain and suffering but it also accepts that the only way to stay on track is through compassion and sacrificial love.
Learn to be more understanding, engage in mindful listening and your love will shine through brighter than ever.
Communication is the base of a relationship. It is the glue that keeps two people close to each other but we easily forget that silence also plays an important role in our relationship.
We use words as our messenger, sword and saviour. The power of words to communicate your thoughts and desires is undeniable. However there are situations in relationships when it is better to express your feelings through thoughtful, conscious, silence than opening your mouth and saying something that could later cause regret. Silence can also be good for a relationship if it does not get misinterpreted. It is a form of sacrificial love for the survival of your relationship.
Occasional silence is good: Counselors know that silence is hugely beneficial tool in the counselling process and to be patient with it. It prompts the client to say something more about what they were talking about. The same can be said of relationships. Think about the last time you felt this pressure to say something. Either something completely random came out of your mouth, you repeated something or you changed the subject to something different. This is what makes it a useful tool in a relationship. It forces you to get to know each other a little bit better.
Silence can be uplifting and help to connect with self: When one partner offers an idea about the relationship, it may be prudent to give them a moment to think over their original statement, to formulate their offer, making sure their point is both understood and fair to both parties.
Have you ever listened to the sound of a promise made to your partner? It’s within these moments that you will truly understand what it is that you have just said. In relationships, people use words to make each other feel better all the time. However, they often fail to feel the consequence and importance of these promises. Take a moment to listen to your inner dialogue. By doing this, you will appreciate the meaning behind your words, giving you a greater understanding of yourself, your partner and to be inspired by your compassion and thoughtfulness. Instead of assuming the worst about your partner’s silence, it would be better to assume the best about it. Thus, if your partner needs some space or peace and quiet to mull over things, he/she would be able to do so without it getting misconstrued.The same applies to you when you are in some desperate need for alone time. This way your relation can only be strengthened as you and your partner’s needs are both met.
Silence can be your strength: Silence can ruin your relationship with your partner but this also a factor which can save you and your partner from unwanted fights. You should express yourself but you should think twice before you talk to your partner about anything. This can give you strength to face any problem in life.
Silence is also really useful when you and your partner are fighting. In that silence, there are echoes of what the argument is about, how it started, how you are feeling but most important, you listen. If you make a conscious effort to keep silent for a moment and really listen to your partner, a solution to the conflict might be seen. It also signals to your partner that you are listening to him/her and trying to understand, rather than coming up with a response.
