Do you want fish or learn how to fish? Do you want a Cheerleader or a Coach?
Posted on September 09, 2011 by Teri-E Belf, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Effective coaching enables clients to learn how to gain clarity and achieve results and well-being on their own after coaching is done. Read how.
Do you want a cheerleader or a coach?
INEFFECTIVE COACHING
Client: I spent two hours organizing my office, threw out tons of stuff. Now I can find things more quickly and it certainly looks neater.
Coach: Terrific! Great going on your success!
Imagine you were the client. Check inside. How does it feel to hear those words? I bet it feels good inside. You always feel good during and after you meet with your coach. She motivates you.
She feeds you fish when you are hungry.
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So what is the problem?
When you feel good you want to spend more time with the person who makes you feel good. That means you will continue to come back for more, and more and MORE. Do you want to pay your coach forever? Who becomes accountable for the client feeling good? Should it be the coach or the client.
EFFECTIVE COACHING
Good coaches hold clients accountable, acknowledging them both for achieving results and for feeling good.
Client: I spent two hours organizing my office, threw out tons of stuff. Now I can find things more quickly and it certainly looks neater.
Coach: You set aside the time and made it a priority to organize your office. (skill) You must have established criteria for what to keep and what to throw or give away. (knowledge) You created a system for where to put things so you can find them more quickly.(skill) You must have been determined to do this and believed you could. (attitude and belief) By your tone of voice I hear you are pleased with your neater office. (feelings)
From my 24 years coaching experience, I can tell you that clients prefer to receive clear acknowledgment like this because they learn to recognize the elements of their success. They learn how to replicate with their own resources without the coach (how to fish). They recognize skills and knowledge used, supportive attitudes, beliefs and feelings. This learning becomes part of their identity and contributes to self-confidence. Best of all, they recognize that they, themselves were fully responsible for achieving (getting the fish).
Expand this to someone else in your life. Teach your colleagues, friends, family and all relationships how to give useful acknowledgment.
