What Does ‘being Stuck’ Really Mean, and How to Change It?
Posted on January 04, 2022 by Alena Michaels MS, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
It happens to all of us, more than once. Feeling trapped or stuck is very common but knowing what to do to get out is what matters the most.
Because you are a human, I’m sure you’ve felt stuck at some point in your life. This state of un(ease), feeling like being stuck where nothing is changing, that plateau we reach and where we feel genuinely stagnant, graces every one of us. In fact, it is so generous sometimes that it may show up repeatedly, almost as if on a fixed schedule.
This ‘stuckness’ (this word should exist in our vocabulary by now) can reveal itself in our daily decision making, behaviors, conversations, attitudes, relationships, our activities, and even moods! How do you know that you’re feeling stuck? Well, it is that bit uneasy nagging of feeling like you’re in the closed room without any window, like you’re in the jail cell, or trapped in your mind, space, or house. Sounds familiar? Wait, it gets even better (or worse)! Have you ever noticed that when you realized you’d been blessed by this state, that within just a few days of your exciting discovery of being trapped, the condition gets worse?
When this happens, and you start to feel overwhelmed by feeling stuck and with no change or help, what do you do? You decide and get determined to change that! You go on a quest. By inviting your best friend, always ready and available to help – a well-known search engine – to help. From researching, finding the answers that ask more questions, reading blogs from experts, or even browsing social media to try to elevate this un-ease, you realize you’re stuck even more. Sometimes you find some information that brings you a bit of an understanding, but that’s where it ends. There is no ‘how’ to change this state, resulting in you throwing in the towel and giving up, feeling more frustrated or even angry.
Let’s look at this stuckness through the lens of your actions. You are quite literarily like the hamster in the wheel by doing the same thing. You continue to act from your autopilot mind, hoping that something will change. You entertain the unfulfilling job where you see no way out of, an unsatisfying relationship where you’re settling or are scared to make any changes. You have conversations with no solutions, trying to do something new without any positive results; the list goes on and on. The issue is that you continue to repeat the same pattern without even realizing it.
To elaborate further, the stuckness doesn’t start in the hamster wheel. That’s the end result. Stuckness begins in your mind, moreover in your thoughts. The repetitive pattern I mentioned earlier applies here, in your mind. If we were to take every thought under a microscope, we would know that every thought represents a specific energetical frequency – vibration. Let’s look at the thoughts through the lens of energy: some thoughts feel so good while others feel bad, really bad. The difference is in resonance. Therefore, if you keep entertaining the same thoughts, these thoughts also emit the same vibration. The same unchanging vibration is the root, and the leading cause of the hamster wheel and feeling stuck as a result. Why? Because one of the most powerful and consistently accurate universal laws – the Law of Attraction – will match this exact vibration with people, situations, circumstances, and outcomes that resonate on the same frequency.
Here is a different explanation – if I keep thinking about how miserable I am in my job, this thought resonates at a certain level in the wave frequency language. It is the same level that matches my mood or feelings. As a result, I will start to feel frustrated, helpless, bored, maybe angry, and it is at this time the hamster wheel begins to turn. It is that moment where I am emitting the same vibration back to the cosmos. And because the Law of Attraction states that ‘likes attract likes’ or ‘what is like unto itself is drawn’, it is only logical that the same thoughts and emotions will attract the same situations, circumstances, and experiences.
In other words, if the frequency of my mood is negative, low, and I feel bad, it will be matched with the precise frequency of a bad, negative situation or a circumstance as an outcome. As a result, I will, again and again, translate the energy as being frustrated, helpless, bored, or even angry. And the vicious cycle and hamster wheel continue. It’s fair to say that the stuckness is actually the sameness (thinking, feeling, doing the same). I cannot think, feel, and do the same and expect different results.
Now to the most critical question – how do you break this vicious cycle and create some change? Use this 5-step process to bring you more ease and flow out of that stuck state.
1. Try to identify those repetitive thoughts, beliefs, and patterns that keep you stuck. What do you have on repeat in your mind? Write them down and identify if they serve you or are destructive. You may discover some beliefs are your mother’s words (often we adopt those as kids). Example: “Don’t trust anyone; they are all out to get you!” Congratulate yourself on having an awareness of these beliefs because now you have an opportunity to change them.
2. When you have your thoughts/beliefs/patterns written down, pay attention to how they feel in your body and what emotions they typically bring. (Repeating yourself, “I can’t trust anyone, I fear that they are out to get me” isn’t only a destructive pattern, it also feels sticky, heavy, and unpleasant in your body). Train yourself to recognize those sticky feels your body always alarms you with. Example: “my stomach tightens, fear shows up.” Rewrite your thoughts into serving affirmations! Find your way out of choosing different, better feeling thoughts than those you’ve identified initially. Ask yourself, “Is it true?” and implement your destructive thought/pattern. Example: “Is it true that I can’t trust anyone and they are out to get me?” What would be a new serving sentence/affirmation you could tell yourself instead? Example: “All is well, I can rely on my gut deciding whom I can or cannot trust.” As you practice this, pay attention to how you feel again.
3. Start repeating new thoughts to yourself as often as possible. The more you repeat them, the faster they become a belief! Also, feel how your body responds. You may feel a big shift or a subtle difference. What new, different feeling does your body show you? Example: “I feel more at ease knowing I’m in control” or “I feel empowered!”
4. Looking back at your situation where you felt stuck. With this new knowledge and new thoughts to train your mind with – what and where can you do differently? What inspired action can you take now, knowing what you know?
To wrap it all up, nobody is ever stuck, energy is never stuck, and the sameness feels like nothing is ever-changing. You will form a new, better-serving belief once you distract that sameness by introducing repetitive, different thoughts. Once you form a new belief, you will get new ideas and inspiration to take different actions, meet and speak to different people. You will find yourself in new, different situations, and voila – you’ll be out of that hamster wheel, enjoying your life, creating your new reality while having fun!