Scared Of Happiness Disappearing
Posted on April 06, 2023 by Michael Ian Cedar, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Have you ever felt happy? And then freaked out that you might lose that happiness?
Imagine eating food, and not enjoying it because you are scared you’d get hungry again. That’s what it felt like every time I experienced happiness.
I used to walk around NYC as if I was walking on glass that was about to break. When I felt happy, I never enjoyed the happiness. And it never lasted. It disappeared quickly…because of my fear that it would disappear quickly.
I became obsessed with wanting to feel happy & feel happy for longer. So I went on a quest for sustainable happiness.
What I learned is that I had to accept that happiness is a finecky pickle.
Emotions are designed to be transient. It’s natural that happiness comes and goes, because we’re human! I didn’t realize I was fearing a natural cycle.
You know the quote, “if you love something, set it free.” I loved my moments with happiness and I had to be willing to set those moments free.
Instead of trying to hold onto happiness with a tight grip, I learned to have massive Gratitude for those moments.
By practicing Gratitude, I grew confidence that happiness will always come back! I learned that I can build a habit of appreciating what I have in the moment.
Fear is an indicator that you are not living in the present. Imagine what it will be like to drop the fear that your happiness or good feeling will go away. Imagine the freedom of living in the present more often.
My bet is that you will experience…
- longer stretches of happiness.
- richer and deeper experiences of happiness.
- happiness playing a role in your life more often.
So here’s my challenge to you. When you are experiencing happiness or good feelings, GIVE IT GRATITUDE! Talk to the happiness like this:
- “I am so happy you are here.”
- “You are free to come and go as you please.”
- “You will always have a seat at the table here.”
If you’re a journaler, I suggest adding the following questions to your daily journaling:
- Where have I allowed happiness or good feelings to come and go as it pleases?
- Where have I attempted to hold happiness or good feelings hostage inside my body?
Happiness and feeling good are states, they are emotions.
Emotions are designed ot be transient. By nature, they will come and go. That’s what makes you ALIVE.
Now, the thing I want you to remember and be prepared for is this: You can’t selectively invite just one emotion to come and go as it pleases.
As you offer this invitation to happiness, you also are extending the invite to all of happiness’s cousins, all the other emotions, and it’s ok to feel those too.
What you resists, persists. So feel them all…knowing they are transient.
My expectation for you: As you allow yourself to feel them all, the happiness will still return more often.
I wish for you ever returning happiness.
