3 Ways You’re Abandoning Yourself in Relationships (and How to Stop)
Posted on August 03, 2025 by Maria Rei, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Learn how to stop self-abandoning in love, reclaim your power and self worth, and reconnect with the woman you were before the relationship took over.
Are you giving so much in your relationship that you’ve forgotten who you are?
Maybe you’ve convinced yourself this is just what love is supposed to feel like—selfless, all-consuming, ride-or-die. But here’s the truth: when love costs you your self-worth, your passions, your peace, and your power—it’s no longer love. It’s self-abandonment disguised as devotion.
Here are 5 powerful signs you’re abandoning yourself in a relationship—and how you can start reclaiming your power and self-worth today:
1. You’ve stopped growing.
You look around and realize your career has plateaued, your friendships are distant, and your once-vibrant passions have dulled. You’ve put the relationship on a pedestal—and in doing so, you’ve shrunk yourself to make it fit.
Your Power Move: Do an honest audit. Where have you gone quiet in your life? Which parts of you have you neglected? Reignite your connection to your work, your creativity, your people—and to yourself.
2. You’re constantly suppressing your truth.
You sweep uncomfortable feelings and unmet needs under the rug, convinced that voicing them would “rock the boat.” But unspoken truths don’t disappear—they fester. And what builds next is resentment.
Your Power Move: Create space to be radically honest—with yourself first. Ask: What conversations am I avoiding? Then commit to speaking your truth with compassion and clarity.
3. You no longer recognize the life you’re living.
You wake up one day and think, How did I get here? You’re living a life that doesn’t feel like your own—stuck in someone else’s version of happiness. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself.
Your Power Move: Visualize your ideal life without the relationship. Who are you? What do you love? What lights you up? Use that clarity to start returning home to yourself.
You don’t need to burn it all down overnight—but every time you choose you, you reclaim your worth. And that is the beginning of real, unconditional love.
