Using Your Relationships As a Tool for Personal Growth
Posted on March 22, 2011 by Suzanne Ferguson, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Are you ready to stop playing the blame game? Well, roll up your sleeves ‘cause it ain’t easy...but the rewards are huge!
Having just returned from a visit with my family – spending time with my mother, my daughter and son-in-law, two granddaughters, my son, my father and step mother, two sisters, and two brothers-in-law – family relationships are on my mind. Why is it that the closer the relationship, the more disrespectful and unkind we are?
I remember when I first became present to this for my self. My children were young and I noticed how easily I “let it fly,” so to speak, with my children and husband, while at the same time exhibiting great kindness and patience for other non- related folks. I made a promise to my self right then and there that I would begin to treat my family as if they were the most important relationships in my life…after all, aren’t they?
Once I stepped into this new awareness and began to change my habits, the door opened and I quickly learned that relationship is one of the greatest personal growth tools. Since that day, I have used my relationships to mirror back to me my feelings, my fears, my self imposed limitations, and my love.
Using relationship as a mirror is not easy because you can no longer blame others for your discomfort, your anger, or your hurt feelings. Using relationship as a mirror means every time someone does something that bothers you, you must look to you first and ask your self; what am I feeling about this situation? What have I done to contribute to this situation? Where am I, in fact, accountable and responsible for this situation? What do I need to do right now to take care of me in this situation? What is more appropriate for me to wait to resolve about this situation? What do I need to do in this moment to resolve this situation for me?
As human beings we will always experience the affects of other people’s words and actions. However, we do get to choose how we feel and how we respond to other people’s words and actions. The very best we can do is take responsibility to resolve them for our selves.
If you are inclined to choose a new years resolution this year, consider taking on relationship as mirror. Use your relationships as a mirror and tool for your growth this year. I can promise you, it will be one of the best gifts you will ever give your self and your loved ones.
