5 Tips On Moving Forward When You're Stuck
Being stuck is normal. It happens to the best of us. Staying stuck is where many get caught up and admitting where you are is the first step to change
Being stuck is normal. It happens to the best of us. Staying stuck is where many get caught up; yet, admitting where you are is the first step to change and development. The unfortunate thing is that many cultures are set up in a way that admitting you’re stuck or don’t know what to do is like saying you are a failure or worse. Some people take it as not being intelligent if they can’t figure their way out of things and that is truly a self-defeating way of thinking. It is counterproductive and becomes a big part of the reason why people get stuck and stay that way.
If you feel like you can’t move forward or make the changes you’d like to see, consider the following to see if they help you move the needle forward.
1. Admit your truth – start by admitting to yourself that you simply don’t know what to do. Own it! By owning it, you give yourself permission to deal with it. That may sound strange that you have to give yourself permission; however, we all have pre-conceived notions or judgments we project on others that sometimes boomerang right back to us. Own where you are WITHOUT judging yourself or the situation. It is what it is, period!
2. Examine your beliefs – think about what your opinions are regarding others in your current situation. Do you blame them for making poor choices? Do you think they should have seen their situation coming? Do you look at them and wonder what precipitated their situation instead and then look at yourself to see what precipitated yours? Here is where compassion for others and self-compassion meet because life is tough at times for everyone and we all end up in pickles sometimes. Know yourself because self-awareness is a key component on the road to growing emotional intelligence.
3. Check your playbook – look at some of the struggles you’ve overcome in the past. What did you do get through? What did you learn from them? Is there anything in those past strategies you can use now or that you should not even consider using? Set your sites on the goal of overcoming not the experience of struggling.It’s time to win this game.
4. Cut yourself some slack- Give yourself credit for getting past prior struggles. Think about how proud you’ve been when you overcame something tough before. We are often our worse critic and not as often our biggest cheerleader. Internal conflict management is a skill we must learn that doesn’t always register with us but we can do it! Understand that even during your superhero moments, you are still human and we live with imperfection. Be grateful for those imperfections because they make us different from the rest. Imagine a world with all perfect people and understand how terribly boring that would be. Diversity is at the crux of humanity and knowing that we are all different is a great way to engage self-acceptance.
5. Get to planning – now you will need to decide how to proceed. Will you continue this alone and hope for the best or will you go get help? Getting help is a sign of strength not defeat. Do you need a coach, a literary agent, a therapist, an attorney, a financial advisor, a consultant or a physician? Get on board with making your life the best it can be. Again, knowing who you are, what you are, what motivates you and how to interact with others will help you increase your emotional intelligence which helps with change. . This is for you and we are no longer judging situations or emotions but instead moving to action to get to the next step. Find the right person to help you and if you feel so inclined, pay it forward once you get into a better space.
Certainly hiring a professional life coach will help regardless of where you are stuck but you must let go of limiting beliefs that tell you “I can do this alone” when you are stuck. Coaching is a self-navigated process with help from a professional allowing you to still steer the ship. You just get the benefit of a co-captain who knows how to make the coordinates work. The same can be said in getting help with other areas like those noted above should you need assistance from other professionals. The key factor here is letting go of the notion that getting help means you aren’t capable. Instead, it speaks to how amazingly capable you are of realizing your team needs another professional to help develop the business of YOU! In my Chapter 2 Living program we use a set of strategies that help get you to where you want to go but you must take the first step!