Begin at the Beginning: Reframe Your Struggle to Solve the Right Problem
Posted on April 20, 2020 by Lucy Adams BSEd MS PCC, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.
We waste energy focusing on the wrong problem. Coach Lucy Adams explains the process of using questions and answers to identify your key problem.
As a professional coach, I find that the great majority of clients lack clarity regarding what they need to work on. They recognize that they need help, and they’re taking a great first step in reaching out to a coach for guidance. Nonetheless, when asked to articulate what it is they want to work on, they give a general answer that encompasses most of the aspects of the human condition: “I need to get more focused and more organized and I’d like to lose some weight. My relationship isn’t going that great. I think I need to change careers, but I don’t know what I’d want to do. I want to know myself better and quit feeling lonely…”
Those may not be your exact words, but undoubtedly you’ve had similar thoughts about how you’d like your life to change. Rest assured, these are issues we all wrestle with to some degree. For those among us with attention and focus challenges, these issues can begin to feel like an endless spiral, like being caught in a whirlwind of internal chaos.
The turning point begins when we can reframe our personal struggles as specific problems. We do that in coaching sessions through questions and answers.
Let’s say the coach and client have gone through the initial process of prioritizing the client’s area of most concern, and the client identifies dissatisfaction with her current weight. Now the coach can guide the client through an examination of her personal experience with that particular struggle:
COACH: What do you not like about your current weight?
CLIENT: I feel fat. I need to lose 15 pounds.
COACH: What is preventing you from losing 15 pounds?
CLIENT: I’ve tried everything. I guess I lack willpower. I know I need to get more exercise. I know I need to eat less. I just don’t make myself do it.
You might be thinking, “Aha! There’s the answer!”
Not so fast. We’re not done. Eat less move more is an answer to her problem that she already knows. The coach has not helped her uncover and name the problem to be solved. More questions must be asked and answered:
- What have you tried?
- When you say you’ve tried everything, what do you mean?
- Who are you when you experience your struggle with willpower?
- How will it change you if you lose 15 pounds?
- Who would you be if you didn’t feel like you needed to lose 15 pounds?
- Who will you be if you overcome your struggle?
- What stops you from making yourself “do it”?
- What is the story you tell yourself about your weight?
- How did you decide you need to lose 15 pounds?
- What have you learned about yourself?
- What problems will you still have even if you lose 15 pounds?
- What problems will you not still have if you lose 15 pounds?
- What problems will you still have if you don’t lose 15 pounds?
- What problems will you not have if you don’t lose 15 pounds?
- What patterns do you see in your answers to my questions?
The coach keeps asking questions and encouraging the client to peel back the layers she has wrapped around her struggle. The correct problem to work on will become evident as 1) the client drills down into the specifics of the issue and 2) patterns emerge in the client’s answers to the questions.
Yes, there is much more work to do once the essential solvable problem is identified. It’s important, however, to make sure the right problem is being solved before starting that work.
