Healing Your History

Posted on February 18, 2023 by Bryan Yates, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

Any outward change we seek only happens when we make real, profound internal change. Internal change only happens after we make peace with our personal history. Only when we stop hoping for a different past, accepting it as it was, can we create a future of new possibility.

My first career—well before I was in corporate business, endurance sports, or wellness—was as a research historian. I spent three years working with Holocaust survivors, helping them record and share their stories. Maybe it was then that I became truly interested in themes of trauma, persistence, resilience, and endurance, because every survivor I met embodied those in their own ways.

Each of us has our own story (many stories, really) that shape who we are, how we see ourselves, and the ways we move about our world. These stories are shaped and reshaped by our families, friendships, life lessons, physical and emotional injuries, loves, politics, losses, and grand experiences. If it’s left an emotional, spiritual, or physical mark, then it has impacted our self narratives.

When I was more regularly personal training and leading group fitness classes, I came to see how personal narratives impact people on a physical level. How individuals moved, their physical confidence, and how they carried themselves were all outward expressions of inner narratives. Our stories become a framework for how we think and feel about ourselves. They can become a mythology of who we believe we are. Self comparing, judging, perfectionism are all mechanisms in that framework. Remember the times you may have said “I could never do that” or “I need to get in shape before I work with that trainer” or “I’m not [fill in the blank] enough.”

I’ve certainly done this—far more than I’m comfortable admitting. I can assure you it’s been an obstacle to change, growth, and personal serenity every time. We sell ourselves things as protective measures against deeper truths. When, however, we expose and make peace with those narratives we get much closer to serenity. It’s from that place that we can really begin to make change … to whatever: our fitness, bodies, work, lives.

What’s the point of all this? If you’re struggling or feeling stuck this holiday season, look a little deeper at the stories you’ve been telling yourself, get a bit more honest about them, and talk with people who understand, because they’ve been there. Finding that connection is a spark for real change.

Happy Holidays,

Bryan