Why NOT to Hire A Coach

Posted on February 23, 2023 by Bryan Yates, One of Thousands of Performance Coaches on Noomii.

Ya ever notice those times when the universe is sending a message?

In the past 24 hours, I’ve had two powerful conversations that hit on the same “cold water in the face” themes.

First, don’t work with a mentor or coach because you imagine they’ve got their shit dialed to perfection. Rather, work with someone who’s mess, maybe even been a real train wreck and come back from it. Work with them because they still make mistakes that they’re willing to share with freedom. Join yourself to their train because they do their journey in a way that inspires YOU. Putting any perception of perfection on them is just a story. It’s a silent demand, a fiction that’s an injustice to you and to them.

Second, powerful mentoring relationships are possible everywhere. Everybody has within them the capacity to coach another. Allow yourself to be surprised by noticing when your biases are closing doors to growth. For me, personally, I’ve gotten more memorable guidance from recovered junkies who’ve gone on to form powerful organizations than I have from any MBA on the corporate-ladder track.

Third, our beliefs about ourselves are formed by old dramas and traumas. Those beliefs lock us into behavioral and emotional patterns that get replayed over and over as fear, shame, regret, guilt, hiding, isolation, disgust, whatever. This is when our stories are cages in our heads, rattling around between our ears. To free ourselves, these old stories must be made safe. They must be transformed from thoughts into emotions. They must move from the head and into the body. A friend of mine likes to say, “You’ve gotta feel it to heal it to find the freedom of recovery.”

I like that…. ya gotta feel it to heal it.

Our stories are what give us the power to serve others in meaningful ways. Your story is yours. It’s the only story you’ll ever need. Own it and use it.